Laugh out loud, most of the chuck norris jokes are quite repetitive but this one is just plain awesome. After serving in the united states air force, norris won many martial arts championships and later founded his own discipline, chun kuk do. Chuck norris facts are an internet phenomenon of satirical facts about martial artist and actor chuck norris. Chuck norris doesnt wear a watch, he decides what time it is. The official chuck norris fact book would make a fantastic christmas gift for just about anyone, and is small enough even to be a stocking stuffer. I was delighted to find that the official chuck norris fact book includes many of the great stories chuck has told me that i wished others could hear. And with the truth this awesome, there really was never a need for the fiction.
Each of the 101 chuck norris facts in the book is supplemented by a true story from chuck norris himself. Some little kids like to wear superman costumes until they find out that superman wears a chuck norris costume. Chuck norris has talked about the chuck norris facts on his official website, with a statement. Chuck norris facts is an internet phenomenon with joke facts about martial artist and actor chuck norris. Unfollow chuck norris the facts to stop getting updates on your ebay feed.
Chuck norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of tekken. Nov 01, 2009 for the first time ever, in the official chuck norris fact book, chuck gives readers not only his favorite facts, roundhousekicked by the man himself, but also the stories behind the facts and the code by which chuck lives his life. Carlos ray norris born march 10, 1940 is an american martial artist, actor, film producer and screenwriter. Chuck norris facts real chuck norris pushing earth down. Chun kuk do was founded by chuck norris, and was originally based on norris tang soo do training in korea while he was in the military. A musthave paean to the archetypical american male and a bible of all things chuck, the truth about chuck norris is easily the most important book of all time. This website and the books promoted on it are not endorsed by chuck norris. Jun 06, 2009 from fresh prince of belair jeffrey the butler tells will and uncle phil he was sparing butler for mr chuck norris, lool. Chuck norris has 24 books on goodreads with 24067 ratings. Chuck norris hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.
Galactus full power vs chuck norris battles comic vine. In 1990, chuck norris created his own style of martial arts called chun kuk do, which includes an honor code based off of. They are given in a comically serious tone, for example. The facts are normally absurd hyperbolic claims about norris toughness, attitude, sophistication, and masculinity. If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but chuck norris says its a girrafe. The facts are normally absurd hyperbolic claims about norris toughness, attitude, sophistication, and masculinity chuck norris facts have spread around the world, leading not only to translated. Chuck norris once urinated in a semis gas tank as a joke. Carlos ray chuck norris born march 10, 1940 is an american martial artist and actor. Chuck norris and a group of cowboys were talking about how tough each of them are at a campfire. Chuck norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and mister miyagi from karate kid. Hundreds of thousands of humorous chuck norris facts have been published, traveled around the globe via the internet, and gained an. So to honor his 74th, here are 11 completely, utterly, true facts about chuck norris.
Too bad he has never cried thats just one of the many funny chuck norris facts floating around on the internet. Chuck norris is the only human being to display the heisenberg uncertainty principle you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face. The official chuck norris fact book by chuck norris home. Carlos ray chuck norris born march 10, 1940 is an american martial artist, actor, film producer and screenwriter. Gena and i are excited about being able to communicate with you here. The official chuck norris fact book by chuck norris. The facts are jokes about norris toughness, attitude, virility, alphamale status, and masculinity. During his competitive fighting career, norris began to evolve the style to make it more effective and wellro.
Our online chuck norris trivia quizzes can be adapted to suit your requirements for taking some of the top chuck norris quizzes. Hi, this is chuck norris, welcome to my official facebook page. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. Nov 03, 2012 chuck norris can solve a system of equations of parallel lines. Ian spector launched the web phenomenon chuck norris facts in 2003 and is the new york times bestselling author of the truth about chuck norris and chuck norris vs. But only chuck norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Chuck norris can solve a system of equations of parallel lines.
A year later, though, norris released the official chuck norris fact book, a fullyendorsed collection of chuck norris facts. Shortly after, in hollywood, norris trained celebrities in martial arts. Permission for this video clip was given by the family of year old. On november 29, 2007, gotham books, the adult division of penguin usa, released a book entitled the truth about chuck norris. Chuck norris can win a staring contest while blinking. Chuck norris irons his trousers with them still on.
Chuck norris was bitten by a cobra, and after five days of excruciating pain the cobra died. Mar 09, 2012 of course, any true chuck norris fan would never buy gothams collection of norris facts when they could instead buy the one written by chuck himself, the official chuck norris fact book, released in 2009. May you survive the laughter in zombie apocalypse chuck norris just reads the city sign and the zombies get out before he gets there. Chuck norris s most popular book is do hard things. The book was so popular, in fact, that it had three sequels totaling over 750,000 copies printed, all by spector. The facts tend to involve absurdly exaggerated claims of norris toughness, attitude, virility, and masculinity stated in an absurdly serious tone.
The official chuck norris fact book is a fun book, but it also gives a great deal of insight into the man behind the fact phenomenon. The real chuck norris demonstrates how he can truly push the earth down. This 305 page soft cover book is easy to read and is filled with stories from chuck norris s vast experience as a martial artist and an actor. Chuck norris is currently suing nbc, claiming law and order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. Chuck norris facts really funny clean jokes and humor. Chuck norris facts started being used in the gaming community shortly after a chuck norris fact generator was created for use with world of warcraft in early 2006. Chuck norris taught tiger woods how to play golf and sleep with women.
Chuck norris facts are satirical factoids about american martial artist and actor chuck norris that have become an internet phenomenon and as a result have become widespread in popular culture. A recent graduate of brown university, spector lives on long island. The suit wrapped up in 2008, with terms not disclosed, and the book not only stayed on shelves, but it made the new york times best seller list. Powerade really isnt powerade, no the name is just a cover up. The reason why we cant find osama bin laden is because hes hiding from chuck norris. Norris is also a black belt in brazilian jiujitsu and judo.
Chuck norris facts simple english wikipedia, the free. For the first time ever, in the official chuck norris fact book, chuck gives readers not only his favorite facts, roundhousekicked by the man himself, but also the stories behind the facts and the code by which chuck lives his life. Chuck norris facts enjoy our collection of interesting fun chuck norris facts and dont forget to share and rate your favorites. Please select a country to view, world afghanistan akrotiri albania algeria american samoa andorra. Mar 09, 2014 so to honor his 74th, here are 11 completely, utterly, true facts about chuck norris. Norris is a black belt in tang soo do, brazilian jiu jitsu and judo. Chuck norris will make your hair grow faster than rogaine. Chuck norris zombie jokes, chuck norris zombie humor.
I found this book not just highly informative but very humorous as well. Chuck norris doesnt flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it. Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell chuck norris stories. Chuck norris does not need close quarters marksmanship training. When chuck norris was given a math test, he wrote violence as the answer to all the questions.
A comprehensive database of more than 10 chuck norris quizzes online, test your knowledge with chuck norris quiz questions. On october 7, 2009, tyndale house publishers issued the official chuck norris fact book. Oliver oliver reed, 155 worlds funniest chuck norris jokes and facts. Norris wife personally chose the fact that norris quotes in the final film. He became famous as a martial artist and started his own school, chun kuk do. If you cant see chuck norris, you may be only seconds away from death. Norris was cast in a number of action movies, such as way of the dragon. For those who have somehow not heard of the chuck norris facts, they are mythical expressions of my life and abilities, a collection of sayings, quips, and quotes, created by young and old. Chuck norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink. Bruce lees mother reveals the truth about her son new discovered interview duration. Fans from every corner of the globe will enjoy both the fanciful and inspirational from one of the world. There once was a man from nantucketchuck norris paralyzed him from the neck down. Chuck norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck norris jokes quotes share book recommendations. App chuck norris facts windows mobile development and. A chuck norris delivered roundhouse kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states. Chuck norris bio, fact age, spouse, divorce, girlfriend. Mar 10, 2016 a year later, though, norris released the official chuck norris fact book, a fullyendorsed collection of chuck norris facts. The paperback of the the official chuck norris fact book. Jun 22, 2010 the official chuck norris fact book would make a fantastic christmas gift for just about anyone, and is small enough even to be a stocking stuffer. The chuck norris app existed even before slack existed. Chuck norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month, they bleed for a week because of it. Chuck norris is ten feet tall, weighs twotons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. Type chuck cat to show a list of all available categories. Singing the praises of his unequaled toughness, his mighty kicking feet, his indestructible beard, his frightening virility, and his ability to stop time by thinking about pineapples, the truth about chuck norris is the one book brave enough to go behind the beard and reveal the real chuck. Chuck norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Here is a collection of zombie apocalypse jokes meets chuck norris jokes. Of course, any true chuck norris fan would never buy gothams collection of norris facts when they could instead buy the one written by chuck himself, the official chuck norris fact book, released in 2009. Hundreds of thousands of humorous chuck norris facts have been published, traveled around the globe via the internet, and gained an international audience. The bestselling chuck norris facts book collection. The official chuck norris fact book by chuck norris fantastic fiction. Norris has always continued working on his martial arts schools and since 1990, he has focused a lot on his philanthropic program. The player takes control of chuck norris himself in a sidescrolling beat em up. Chuck norris halloween facts, funny chuck norris facts. Jan 21, 2017 15 dark facts you never knew about chuck norris chuck norriss tears cure cancer. Chuck norris threw a grenade and killed 50 zombies, then it exploded. Not only that, stallone asked him to also bring in one of the many chuck norris facts that the internet made famous. Chuck norris can light a fire by rubbing two icecubes together. Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund.
Every piece of furniture in chuck norriss house is a total gym. Chuck norris facts vga added hi all, i am a partime developer meaning i do it in my spare time. The official chuck norris fact book, 101 of my favorite facts, with my personal reflections on each. After serving in the united states air force, he competed as a martial artist who won many championships and has since founded his own school of fighting, chun kuk do. Chuck norris is a close friend who i love like a brother and who once put a choke hold on me at my request, which i immediately regretted. This is because even chuck norris cannot be in two places at the same time. Chuck norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
See more ideas about chuck norris, chuck norris facts and chuck norris memes. Chuck norris invented the olympic games in hopes of finding a worthy opponent. Calm and ebullient, chuck norris was born as carlos ray norris on 10 march 1940 in ryan, oklahoma, the united states of america to wilma nee scarberry and ray norris. Jul 15, 2007 chuck norris is not hung like a horse. Chuck norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in fortyseven seconds.
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